Joke Thread

[cabry]

Just tell some jokes, have some fun


3 guys in a bar. First guy says "Damn, I got the shortes arm in the world", 2nd guy "Damn, I got the shortest finger in the world", 3rd guy "Damn, I got the shortest dick in the world". Convinced of what they said, they go to the guiness world records. 1st guy comes out "Yay, I really got the shortest arm in the world" 2nd guy comes out "Yay, I really got the shortest finger in the world" 3rd guy comes out "Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?"

[Becio]

I go to the elevator and stairs there

- Hello, is that the company "Christmas on the phone?
- Yes.
- What can you order?
- Claus, Snowflake, elves, reindeer, presents ...
- It will ask three Snowflake and two liters of vodka

[^ WASTXR]

tryed chatting up this girl in a bar, she turns round and says, i wouldnt fuck you if we were the last two humans alive, after a cuple seconds i whispered in her ear . . . ..







. . . . . who'd be here to stop me ?



that took the smile off her face

[^ [BHS]-Psycho]

A jew and a irishman are having a heated debate about the true purpose of sex. The Irishman says it is work. the jew says it is pleasure.
unable to reach a conclusion, they agree to continue their research and meet again at a later date. At a later date, the Irishman triumphantly reports that he checked with his priest, and the answer is definitely work. 'Sex is purely for the purpose of procreation, see?'
But the jew remains unconvinced. He checks with his rabbi and reports his findings to the Irishman. "my rabbi says it must be pleasure, because if it was work, we'd get the blacks to do it."

Have you heard about the new V.I.A.G.R.A virus?
It turns your floppy into a hard disk.

Here's to the girl with the long blond hair,
she made 'em laugh, she made 'em stare.
she lost her cherry, but thats no sin,
'cause she still got the box that the cherry came in!

here's to today. Here's to tonight. We shot the stork so its allright.

(leon Schuster's lekker thick south african joke book pp. 312, 329 and 340)

['gr0tesQue]

Argh, it's not fair, I don't know any jokes in english, we've got completely another sense of humor here in Poland

[raw114]

Helium walked into a bar. The bartender looked at it and said "Sorry, we don't server noble gasses here". Helium went on uncaring.

[Nipper]

Sir! We wound trace of semen in the victim's eye!
Well.. i think that.. she didnt see it coming . YEEEAAAAAH

---------- Post added at 17:01 ---------- Previous post was at 16:58 ----------

sir, a man who was high on marijuana just crashed his car in to garden and died !
well i guess. He should have.. kept off the grass. YEEEEAAAH

[cabry]

"Do you hate me?" "Well, let's say it like this, if you were burning and I had a glass filled with water ... I'd drink the water"

[Becio]

Before the marriage:
She - Hi Jack.
He - at last, been waiting so long.
She - you want me to go?
On - No! this is terrible!
She - Do you love me?
He - of course, at any time of day or night.
She - Have you ever betrayed me?
On - No! Never!
She - Want to kiss me?
He - Yes, every time and at every opportunity.
She - Do you ever hit me?
On - you crazy? You know what I am.
She - Can I trust you?
He - Yes.
She - Honey.
Seven years after the marriage:
Read from the bottom now ...

[^ Masked]

What are the first symptoms of AIDS?

pressure in butt, and breath on the neck

======

Guy was fucking a girl really really hard for long time.. he tired very much, so he said:
- maybe you on top now?
she looked at him oddly, and answered :
-You have naver raped anybody before, have you?

I'll get you more